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Guys and Dolls

Guys and Dolls - Grown Ups Magazine - Is your son more interested in dolls than race cars?
Is your son more interested in dolls than race cars?

Guys and Dolls
Imagine, if you will, a playroom stocked with toys, stuffed animals, dolls, and trunks and trunks of dress-up clothes. Two children, a boy and a girl, race into the room, eager to dig in. The boy makes a beeline for a doll, and the girl goes straight for the racetrack.

Now consider the following: if we told the girl that playing with the racetrack were unacceptable and encouraged her to play with the dress-up clothes instead, we’d be considered sexist. Yet at the same time, some of the individuals who’d call us sexist would have no qualms taking the doll away from the boy and steering him toward the more masculine toys.

What gives? Why isn’t it just as inappropriate to dissuade a boy from playing with dolls as it is to dissuade a girl from playing with traditionally masculine toys?

Research has noted that baby boys tend to be more attached to their mothers than baby girls, but societal norms overwhelm natural gentility in favor of masculinity and toughness. Most cultures teach boys at a young age that playing with “girl” toys, like dolls and tea sets, make them “sissies.” Moreover, some parents still hold onto the misguided notion that boys who play with dolls are destined to grow up gay. The more likely explanation is that dolls are a reflection of natural tendencies. In other words, playing with dolls is an effect, not a cause.

Not all boys gravitate toward dolls. Some boys, it seems, are hard-wired to prefer toys that are more traditionally geared towards boys. Other boys eschew dolls in favor of the masculine analogue, action figures.

It has been said that play is a child’s work and that children learn through play. Open-ended play, like the kind of play that dolls naturally elicit, is especially beneficial for growth. Moreover, there are many distinct skills that are necessary for proper development that dolls encourage, including:

  • Pretend play
  • Fine motor skills (through feeding and dressing)
  • Language skills
  • Social skills
  • Sharing
  • Cooperation
  • Problem-solving

By age 3 or 4, boys who play with dolls tend to take on the role of the father figure, interacting with the dolls in ways that their fathers interact with them. Dolls allow boys to work through emotions and explore scenarios, such as bedtime. Dolls also help children release tension. Hitting a doll may not seem very nice, but it can be a much more positive release than hitting a sibling or pet. This also allows you the opportunity to correct bad behavior without anyone getting hurt.

In the end, parents should just encourage their children, both male and female, to play with what interests them. Research indicates that people who have both male and female personality traits earn more money and are happier in life than those who adhere to strictly-defined masculine and feminine roles. Regardless, parents shouldn’t be upset if they find their son rocking a doll. Instead, take comfort in knowing that some day that little boy will grow up to be a kind, nurturing adult.

About the author

Crystal Plante

Crystal Plante

Crystal is a teacher, reading specialist, freelance writer, author, and married mother of four. In her spare time—or whatever spare time a mother of four has—she enjoys reading, cooking, watching television, and volunteering in her community. Crystal is an unabashed chocoholic and a long-suffering (but recently redeemed) fan of the Kansas City Chiefs. You can visit her website at http://www.ceplante.weebly.com.

  • Robin Rue

    My boys have always had freedom to play with whatever they wanted. They chose the cars over the dolls all by themselves.

  • Kung Phoo

    We never made our kids play with boy or girls toys.. they always were able to figure it out for themselves.

  • Megan Elford

    I totally agree! I see playing with dolls, kitchen toys, cleaning toys, etc. as practice for grown-up life. And boys and girls both end up as grown-ups eventually!

  • Carly Anderson

    I have absolutely no problem with boys playing with “girl” toys and girls playing with “boy” toys. My daughter loves playing with cars and trucks.

  • Marya Renkema

    Great thoughts. We have four boys, so they don’t have much exposure to “girl toys” just because we don’t own any.

  • Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell

    My son used to put on dress-up clothes like his sister did because he just thought everything she did was what he needed to be doing. It never even phased me, and I thought they both looked too cute for words.

  • mykidsguide

    Some boys do enjoy playing with girls toys, yet they never really confess it!

  • mail4rosey

    My son has a costume chest and he loves it. He’s got more characters than Marvel in there. 😉

  • Great post…I don’t know what it is…i can’t believe how hypersensitive some people can be. For example, why do some fathers get all uptight if a younger boy likes to sing and dance? I swear, it’s fun and it’s such a happy activity to do, but I’ve seen some Dads get really peeved and make them stop because they fear they aren’t being ‘masculine’ enough.

  • Even with all the research that shows that it’s perfectly fine for kids to play with all toys, parents revert to the familiar. Maybe the next generation will finally get it.

  • rocky

    Great post … my daughter loves cars and train 😉

  • Julie

    Excellent post. Thank you!

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